Releasing the Illusion of Control...

Let's face it, life can tired a person out!  Add in jobs, romance, lack of romance, friendship, parenting, being someone's adult child yourself, self-care, sleep, eating, and being "tired out" can just grow and grow.  

For many of us, as we feel more and more tired and thus more and more out of control or busy, we just try to do more in attempt to give the illusion (to ourselves and others) that we totally "have it all together."  However, maybe we should just release that illusion of control and instead, step back, take a deep breath, and decide what REALLY needs to happen right now? Don't put more on the to-do list, put more into deciding what to put on the to-do list and how to do those things in ways that keep us happy but don't drain us completely.  

Parenting means we have to care for ourselves and for our children.  We only have so much energy, so let's stop using that energy to give the illusion of control and rather use that energy to love on ourselves, our families, our passions, our joys, our learning.  

All Good Things,
     Britta 

Parenting with the End in Mind - Theirs Not Yours

This is going to be quick and sweet.  When we parent, in the toughest moments of discomfort, challenge, and testing, we must remember that we are parenting not only the 3 year old in front of us but also the 13 year old in front of us, the 23 year old in front of us, the 33 year old in front of us and … you get the point.  We have to remember to Parent With The End In Mind.  Discipline, love, structure, boundaries, empathy, behavior modification, all have to keep in mind we are trying to help a HUMAN grow up to be an adult, not just a toddler, child, or teen get through a rough moment, remember to take out the trash, or go to bed.   

Adulting is coming for our children and teens and what are we doing to help them adult well?  Are we parenting with the End In Mind or rather with the Moment We are Just Trying to Get Through as the focus of our actions? 

Like all goals, when we focus our strengths and actions around keeping the End in Mind, we react differently, we plan differently, we focus differently.  Next time you are struggling with how to react to a parenting moment, ask yourself, “What can I do here to help my child build skills such as empathy, organization, kindness, discipline, [fill in another quality here] to carry with them to the adult world.”  Perhaps it will change your parenting from survival mode to career planning.  Perhaps it won’t. Either way, it gives a moment for a breath and room for new ideas to help get through perhaps challenging times. 

For more tips on how to Parent with The End In Mind, contact Britta for a one-on-one appointment.  

Parenting is exhausting

Lots of things are exhausting: war, illness, family strife, parenting, watching t-ball for two hours... they are all just exhausting in totally different ways and cannot be compared equally.  Tonight, for me it is parenting, not just my children, but myself - just taking care of things.  It is 11:23 and I am knee-deep in accounting for the family business and I know I need some sleep so tomorrow, I can be present to my students in the classroom, my children after school, and my husband after work, and oh-yes, ME through all of it.  Deep breaths and drinking water help a lot.  So does time management and eating food - I am not even going to go so far as eating well - just eating will do the trick at this point in my life!  I have great abundance in love and support which help immeasurably as does reading tid-bits from other strung out parents because I like to know I am not in it alone because even as a parenting coach and educator, some days, my best is not really my best. 

So, with my parenting coach and educator hat on, I am here to say:

Please be gentle on yourself and on each other, and while going through the mire and the flowered fields of life, parenting, marriage, single-hood, work, and self-care remember to decide, "Is this worth my time and effort?" and if it is, give it  your all, and if it is not, give it up.

Accounting? It is worth my all, but my all ran out about 28 minutes ago and now getting a good night's rest is going to get my all (so tomorrow, those who need my presence can have it right there ready for them).

What will get your all and presence today, and what will be given up?

All Good Things,
     Britta 

Parents: No Need to Feel Guilty

Here is some support from INCAF (International Network for Children and Families) When we see choice, we see options, and we see more control. Read on for more.  -Britta  Parents: No Need to Feel Guilty One thing that saps our energy the most is feeling guilty. We feel guilty that we don't spend enough time with our kids, that we didn't get the laundry done, that we didn't bring homemade cupcakes to our child's school's birthday celebration. (Are you feeling tired yet? I am!) When we feel guilty ...we tell ourselves negative things about ourselves...I'm lazy, I am not a good mom, we compare ourselves to our friends and then we feel even worse...more tired and more drained. Parenting Practice: INSTEAD Take one thing that you feel guilty about. Ask yourself, "Is it true that I don't spend enough time with the kids? If yes, take action! Get your calendar out and make an appointment with your child to go bike riding or for a walk in the woods (you get the idea...it doesn't take a lot of time or a lot  of money.) If it is not true, let it go (sing the theme from Frozen boldly, at the top of your lungs) get your mind focused on something you love or brings you joy. Or if it is something you don't really want to do...don't do it or find some other way to make it happen. Find some one who has time to make the homemade cupcakes! Guilt not only saps your energy but it also hangs over you like a dark cloud and makes you a not fun person to be around. In addition, you tend to use guilt to motivate  other people around you like your kids or your spouse. Remember you have a choice. You choose what to dwell on. Pass this on to a friend who you could benefit from this.

International Network for Children and Families | INCAF.com (352)494-1581

Parenting in the New Year

Hello All!

2017 is here and with it, family, love, dinners, lunches, cut fingers, work meetings, dirty laundry, clean laundry (is it folded yet?!), and all the little bits and pieces in between.  That is to say:

Happy New Year to you!!!!

I have never been a Resolution sort of a gal, but this year, I resolve to write on this blog more.

Parenting is tough people. It is also amazing.  It stretches us, it crunches us, it loves on us.   If I had no children, I would sleep more and ski more and read more - it does not sound that glamorous, ok maybe it does, but anyway, I hope all of you in that boat have some fun and R&R for me!  In the mean time, I will keep my kids and keep working on patience, empathy, unconditional love and redirecting children's behavior without anger, harsh words, or underhanded punishment.

Let the new year roll!

Good Things,
Britta

Active but Not as Active...

Hello everyone!  I have decided to return to the Public School Classroom to teach Family and Consumer Sciences in Gunnison, Colorado.  Due to this transition, I will not be as active in Parenting Education and Coaching.  If you would like to contact me, I am still totally excited and willing to work one-on-one with clients as well as leading educational events for groups. 

The fastest route to me right now is brittahubbard@gmail.com or you can call or text 970-445-8079.  

Good Things, 
       Britta

Free Parenting Event at the Wood River YMCA 5/25/2016

Britta will be visiting the Wood River YMCA on May 25, 2016 4:45 - 6 pm to talk about GEMS, Genuine Encounter Moments, as well as have a Q & A session about parenting and parenting support.  This event is free and open to the public.  Please come!